Threads of Recognition
When fashion stopped being about transformation and became about belonging to myself.
Reading time: About 4 minutes
Note: Petite Studio NYC gifted me the blouse and pants featured in this article. If you use the links in this post to make a purchase, I may earn a small commission. As always, my words and opinions are entirely my own.
I’ve been writing about fashion for almost a decade, and I’m still mesmerized by it. Streetwear, couture, thrifted treasures—each look feels like a story unfolding in fabric. I love watching how people dress, the way some turn color into punctuation, and others mix patterns like they’re composing jazz. Seeing their outfits is like looking at a painting or hearing a song that moves you. I might not dress like them, but I love that they do.
For years, though, I mistook admiration for identity. If I liked someone’s style, I assumed I should want to wear it too. So I tried on every version of myself I could find—pattern on pattern, color on color—hoping one would feel like home.
Somewhere along the way, though, something shifted. I stopped wanting to perform myself and started wanting to be myself. I still love clothes, still want them to speak for me, but these days I’m drawn to quiet strength, pieces that whisper instead of shout, fabrics that feel luxurious in their understatement. My kind of boldness is softness that stands its ground.
Which is probably why, when Alice from Petite Studio NYC reached out this fall, I felt a tug of curiosity. Alice is part of their PR team, and she’s reached out before. Always gracious, never pushy. For nearly a decade, I’d said no to nearly every collaboration with a company. Back when I studied journalism, we were taught that accepting a gift from a company was practically a scandal. The rule was simple: no free clothes, no free bias.
Lately, though, I’ve realized things have changed, in society as well as within myself. Integrity isn’t about staying untouched. It’s about staying intentional. I’m less dazzled by novelty now, more drawn to what feels aligned, what feels like home. The question I ask isn’t “Is it free?” but “Is it true?”
Years ago, I tested myself with an affiliate program from a company I wasn’t sure about. The clothes looked beautiful online, but the seams told another story—fast fashion at its fastest—and the fabric felt like sandpaper. Two shipments later, I learned the rule I actually keep: if I wouldn’t spend my own money on it, I won’t write about it. I ended the partnership, wiser, and a little embarrassed that I’d let cheap fabric talk me into anything.
So, when Alice emailed, this time offering pieces from Petite Studio’s Buvette and Reign collections, I lingered on her email rather than deleting it. Their mission, to make investment pieces for petites that last, sounded a lot like my own mission these days: buy less, choose better, care for what you have. I looked through their site and realized I loved everything. Not “I could make that work” love. Genuine, these clothes already know me love.
A few days later, the package arrived: an ivory blouse and a pair of brown-gray tweed pants, folded so carefully it felt like the Crown Jewels.
The blouse, a whisper of viscose with two pearl buttons at the neckline, was all grace and light.
The pants were their opposite—structured, substantial, beautifully made.
Together, they struck a balance that felt almost biographical: the feminine and the masculine woven together in softness and strength.
And that balance rekindled my playful side.
I don’t mean the old performative play from my early blogging days, the kind that tried to prove I belonged. I mean the quieter play that sneaks up while you’re standing barefoot in your room, curious about how a fabric falls. The kind that makes you roll a cuff just to see what happens.
I paired those rolled-cuff pants with a western-style denim shirt and black lug-soled boots. Suddenly, they were grounded, a little cheeky.
Then I tried them again, full length this time, with the Buvette blouse tucked in neatly and paired with heeled ivory boots underneath. The effect was elegant without trying. Both versions felt like me.
And that’s new.
Ten years ago, I thought confidence meant volume—louder colors, bigger prints, more presence. I admired women who could pull that off, women who walked through the world like living artwork. I still do. Their vibrancy gives me courage.
But when I dress like that, I feel like a paper doll—lovely, but not quite alive. Confidence, I’ve learned, doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it’s stitched into the seams of a garment that fits perfectly. Sometimes it lives in small, deliberate details: twin pearls at a neckline, a single button on a pocket, the way wool can feel like structure and comfort at once.
There’s still a silky floral damask smoking jacket hanging in my closet, thrifted from Poshmark years ago. It fits a little big, and I rarely wear it, but I can’t bring myself to let it go. It reminds me that I can still play—that sometimes flamboyance is its own kind of self-care. More often, though, my play happens in subtler ways: pairing masculine and feminine, strong lines with soft fabrics. The blouse and pants from Petite Studio do that effortlessly. They meet in the middle and make peace.
I used to think style was about transformation, about dressing for the woman I wanted to become. Now I think it’s about recognition, dressing for the woman I already am.
Petite Studio NYC calls their pieces investments. I think that’s true in more ways than one.
And I often wonder if others have gone through that shift—from dressing to be noticed to dressing to belong to yourself. Maybe some of you have rediscovered that same spark, that quieter kind of play. If so, I’d love to hear what it looks like for you now.
One last thing before I go—because transparency matters to me, I want to repeat this: Petite Studio NYC gifted me the blouse and pants featured in this story. If you decide to shop through my links, I’ll earn a small commission. I share this not to sell you anything, but to stay honest about how creative work and sustainability can coexist. My opinions—and my love for these clothes—are entirely my own.
If you’re curious, you can find the exact pieces I featured here: Buvette Blouse and Reign Pants.
Beautifully written. I have felt for a while that personal style changes as people change and evolve throughout the years of life. And I think confidence comes from a personal comfort. I am finding I am going through my own style changes this year due to major knee surgery. I no longer want to wear what I was wearing before. The process of recovery is changing how I see myself.
Yes, this resonates, thank you! I find myself most comfortable in the same elements I like in my art: warm colours and texture.